I am not an accident

"Making the decision to have a child - it's momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking outside your body." -Elizabeth Stone

I've often viewed life as a huge puzzle, intricately complex, with many different pieces. Pieces are constantly being added or shifted by an unseen Hand, who wisely arranges our disorganized lives in such a way that we should be blessed with all we need. Sometimes, as the pieces shift and change, it leaves us feeling panicked and confused; for from our point of view, we cannot see the full picture, the wise plan of our Father; we only see the apparent disarray of our world, and feel as though God has forsaken us, when in fact He carefully holds and arranges our whole lives within the palms of His hands. When I look at my own life, I see His fingerprints all over it.

I was born on November 10, 1988 to a woman probably not much older than myself. She had hidden her pregnancy until the very last moment, when she went into labour. She had been terrified to tell of the life inside of her, as I can only imagine she must have been. Through the eyes of the world, I was a mistake - an accident, an inconvenience. But through the eyes of God, I was no mistake - He had plans for me. By His grace alone was I even born that day, rather than being aborted. His fingerprints were on my life before it even truly began.

I was not meant to remain in my birthmother's life. My piece had no place in this puzzle. My mother had the wisdom and the love for me to see that, and to make the remarkable sacrifice to give me the best life she could possibly find for me. Upon reading the quote above by Elizabeth Stone, I realized what a sacrifice my birthmother had made for me. She gave up her heart to give me a loving, deicated family, a large network of loyal friends, and all she knew that she could not provide.

God's wise hands have set me in the place He had designed for me in the beginning. His careful placement has allowed for countless wonderful people to be a part of my life - and to have a profound impact on it. Had my birthmother not made that heart-rending choice 17 years ago, I would never have met my many faithful friends, would never have met those I call my family, and never have received the love of my boyfriend and soulmate. So thank you to my birthmother, wherever you are. And thank you, above all, to God, for putting my life together.