Journal of an Insomniac

An array of thoughts and ideas that keep me awake at night.

Tuesday, April 04, 2006

And so it begins....

"Life is something that happens when you can't get to sleep." - Fran Lebowitz

Insomnia can teach you many things, or it can make you go insane. The latter often seems the most imminent, but I know that I have learned some things from many nights awake. I was telling this to some friends when one suggested that I make a journal to hold my many revelations and ideas. At first I laughed it off. Who would really want to hear my ramblings anyway? A year or two passed, and I'd actually finally found a medication that worked. I was actually sleeping through the night! Then suddenly, I remembered that journal idea, and it got me so excited that I couldn't sleep. So, for my own sanity, here it is.

If sleep is rest for the body, then some days I'd almost say insomnia is the waking of the soul. Many days I've felt as though I'm only half awake, or sleep walking, but it seems that on the nights when my body is half asleep, my true dreams and desires come alive in me. I've always wondered why this is, but now it seems to make sense in a crazy sort of way. I've always been a doubter and a skeptic; it's one of my least favourite qualities. But when my body is crying for sleep, I think the skeptic in me is a little too exhausted to dash my optimistic ambitions. At night, I dream endlessly of who I could become and what to do with my life, and in the morning these thoughts seem as childish as fairy tales. Nine times out of ten, my fiery ambition has already been snuffed by the time I wake up in the morning, its short life ended by my ever present "common sense". Any ideas I don't instantly dismiss with the rising of the sun are generally labelled as impossible, and their allure is slowly forgotten. I'd love to escape common sense for a moment, take a risk, and perhaps accomplish those dreams some day. I'll have to start small, so I'll start with this...

4 Comments:

Blogger Marc said...

Oh man...I can't wait to see what becomes of this :)

8:27 a.m.  
Blogger Leanne said...

I wouldn't count on as much success as your mom's having with her blog. That doesn't matter to me though, I just like writing. :)Thanks for reading it!

1:41 p.m.  
Blogger Joanne (True Blue) said...

This is awesome, Leanne! You have a definite talent. You are able to illustrate a very human side of us all, and you do it very eloquently! Keep writing!

7:03 a.m.  
Blogger Leanne said...

Well said! Faith in God gives us the security to step out in faith and take risks for His name. Without that assurance, I'd probably never do a risky thing at all.

2:52 p.m.  

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